My New Exercise Regimen

I can't stop playing 10-pin bowling on my t-mobile sidekick. I haven't gotten to the point where I am challenging strangers (aka "14-year-olds with pre-paid plans") online, because apparently social anxiety extends to cyberspace, but I have stooped to begging my fellow sidekick friends and family to download 10-pin bowling. None of them have, probably because they have lives and act their age.

Or maybe they're just afraid I'll kick their asses. Yeah, that must be it.

Why Bother?

So I woke up to the news that GW Bush has nominated Samuel Alito as the next Supreme Court justice. I was just about to start reading up on him, but then it hit me -- why bother?

I mean, seriously. What the hell do I think I'm going to learn? It doesn't matter who this guy is. All that matters is that Bush nominated him. That is all the research I have to do.

The truth is that the Supreme Court, under Bushy's administration, is like a conservative lego sculpture. Pull a piece out, and put another one in, and it's going to fit like a glove. Reach into the box of lego and they are all going to snap into place and conform perfectly. It's not like he's going to pull out a lincoln log or a tinker toy. No, it's going to be lego, over and over and over again.

I wanted to watch some Netflix movies today anyway. I hope "The Interpreter" is good.

Games Politicians Play

Is anyone really wondering who "White House Official A" is? Why don't they just say the name? Why so coy?

EVERYONE knows. Ok, if you truly don't know, I'll give you some hints. It rhymes with "Snarl Bove." Or, here's a pig latin hint -- it's "Arl-Kay Ove-Ray." Still stumped? Here's a little hangman: _ A R L R O V _.

This just in from the White House wire -- Clark Kent is Superman. And that Bruce Wayne fella? Well, he's also a superhero. They're not revealing his superhero identity, but they WILL say that it rhymes with "Catman."

The Face of Terror

Please, take a moment and gaze into the face of terror...



I was in Toronto last month for the Toronto International Film Festival. It is a lovely city with lovely people -- just like I remembered it when I was there roughly 10 years ago. In general, I like Canada's progressive vibe. I like that they support their artists and that gay marriage is legal. But Canada, listen, I'm a little peeved with you right now.

Yesterday, Ontario began enforcing a Breed Specific Legislation (or "BSL") against pitbulls. Now, pitbulls have been the subject of many of my other little "essays," so let's just say that I'm pro-pitbull. And just to clarify, I am NOT pro asshole-owners of pitbulls. I readily acknowledge that stupid people often own these smart dogs in order to look macho or protect something that might not be so legal. And anyone who fights pitbulls, or any other dogs, is just a loser.

Anyhow, pitbull owners in Ontario are now required to muzzle their dogs while in public. And as of yesterday, pitbulls can no longer be brought into the province, and any born after 10/28/05 will have to be euthanized. Lovely.

So now responsible pitbull owners have to pay the price for horrible pitbull owners. What ever happened to "punish the deed, not the breed"?

Surprisingly, those in Ontario are luckier than those in Denver. There, if you own a pitbull, they can just take your family pet from you and kill it. But when I read stories of what my fellow pitbull owners are going through in Canada, it just makes me cry.

Pitbull terriers are not an inherently evil breed. My husband and I are currently raising our 4th pitbull puppy, Lucy (pictured above), and she is just as loving and bright and playful as our others. On the other hand, I've been bitten by more lap dogs than I care to remember. We are dog lovers who treat our animals with care and respect, and we've taken on the responsibility of sharing our lives with this controversial breed. I used to be really scared of them. But after dog-sitting a wayward pitbull years ago, I can't imagine my life without them. They deserve better than to be automatically branded as malicious and universally banned.

Reading is fun. And so is learning. So if you want to learn more about pitbulls, read all about them here: Pitbull Forum. This is a pitbull-positive community, filled with great owners and their awesome pooches. I spend a lot of time there, when I'm not reading gossip columns and/or obsessing over my next job.

Really? You're kidding!

George Takei came out as gay this week. In a similar move, he also came out as Asian.

Blondes Have More Guns?

Some dude named Daniel Craig is the new James Bond and he's blonde. Apparently, this is a really really big deal.

I think it would be an even bigger deal if "The Daily Show" hired a blonde male correspondent. Now, I love me some "Daily Show," but does anyone else think it's strange that those guys kind of all look alike? Are brunettes truly smarter and funnier?

If I got to chose the new Bond, I would have chosen Alan Cumming.

We all start somewhere

I'll bet there are a million reasons why someone starts a blog.

Because I know you're burning with curiosity, here's mine: I just read a review of my most recent project, and it made me want to stick sharp needles in my eyes. I sometimes get frustrated that critics have an outlet and the criticized sometimes do not. But now anyone can blog, so I will. Besides, who's ever heard of a little rag called "Variety"? Kill me. Kill me now.

I promise that this won't be a full-time gripefest. In fact, if it's like my garden, my screenplay(s), my navajo white walls, it will be soon neglected. After all, does the world really need another blog?